After sometime sitting in the dark, one should begin to see the light. Or at least one would think so. For me life is in complete darkness void of all light. Day by day I do my best to feel my way through the maze of life. Often left lost, confused and feeling hopeless.
Is there any reason behind this? After great consideration and reflection upon my past, present and possible future. The answer is understood by myself.
Born into a time and place that has always left me feeling as if I truly do not belong. Wandering aimlessly through my life, I still feel strongly I do not fit anywhere.
Wisdom, something I was put here with a great deal of. Yet this stupid feeling has no direction, no reason and fails to pass.
So often I can feel my self as a dead person, living life in a shell. Zombie, best fits what I would describe my self as. Walking, searching, craving something I do not have.
As think about how to address and begin to change this darkness. It is so often reminded to me, your not able to do that. Why?
Other people are allowed to live, feel happy and live a normal life. Having success, fulfilling their dreams. While I just keep drifting deeper into the abyss with nothing to cling to. No direction and no reason to try.
Dreams, goals and reasons to strive to overcome this. Are deep within me, however I can not for the life of me. Get them to the surface, not for myself to see, not for the world to see.
Darkness, that is all that is in front of and surrounding me.
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