From birth to death, humans make mistakes. We take strides forward, we take turns that cause us to fall backwards. Sometimes we make mistakes along the way. But for the most part, we are good people. Yet society finds away, like a bully in school. Too pick on and torment those that have stumbled a time or two. Instead of showing faith that a better person can emerge.
Me, yea I made mistakes. Some I should have known better before hand, some maybe I did. Others I lacked the knowledge of what I was doing or what the outcome maybe.
I was bullied as a child, at home at school anywhere I was really. I never made it a point to allow it to upset me too much. But recently, life has reminded me. Life has bullied me for the mistakes I have made.
Mistakes I made, effected my life in profound ways. Almost as much as my childhood. I never was able to maintain a real job. Friends what are those? Never could make nor keep anyone close to me. When I was in my twenties, some bigger mistakes where made. I lost some of the best work I ever had. I lost what family life I created for myself. I lost my son’s, I lost the love of my life. I lost what was left of me.
My life always has been hell, and I never wanted to hurt or share my hell with anyone else.
Recently I have been struggling with my issues. And my nightmares well they terrify me. Thinking of how to find peace, in a healthy manner is so say the least difficult. So many mistakes in my 39 years.
Many have faded in time, and others well they hunt me everyday. What makes life harder is living in the dark shadows of amazing dreams. I think people look at me, and say what a waste. They dont see my pain, they dont see my sorrow. They dont see my passion. They refuse to understand that despite my mistakes. I am still a man. I have a heart that longs for love and peace. My mind is full of positive and creative ideas. They see my past, they see my past and condemn me to hell. Not knowing that I am not that man. With out taking the time to see, I was never that man.
Mistakes, we all make them. But mine have landed me in hell. The dark shadows of hell. The light is within sight, yet no one understands. I am not proud of the mistakes I made. But the mistakes I over came, have allowed to be proud of who I am.
Sad society, sees me as a mistake. Sad they dont want me to be.
I am truly sorry for the mistakes I made, and for the mistake I am………
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